A young man was sittling in a park. He looked sad, depressed and badly in need of some help. An elderly man stopped and started to talk with him.
Elderly Man (EM) : Do you need any help ?
Lonely Man (LM) : Yes, can you help me ?
EM: Yes, tell me what is your problem
LM : I am lonely. Thats my problem.
EM : Dont you have a family ?
LM : Yes, I do . But still am lonely. Do you really beleive that family will relive you of your loneliness ?
EM : Yes, you can spend time with them.
LM : I have been doing that. I spend time with all my family.But i cannot overcome this problem.
EM : Are you not getting invovled in any hobby or any activitivity ?
LM : Am working 5 days in a week. I get two days off which i spend with family. My hobbies is travelling. But due to family pressures , am not able to travel.
EM : What about any other hobbies which you can develop to overcome your loneliness ?
LM : Yes, i registered to Facebook , but i feel all my friends comments as boring and it cannot replace the companionship of a physical friend.
EM : Yes, thats correct. So , tell me where are your friends ?
LM : All of them are abroad, thanks to the oppurtunities in the Information Technology. They all are doing well.
EM : I have one idea. Do you want to know it ?
LM : Yes, please do tell me.
EM : Not today. Meet me next week at this same place and I will tell you.
LM : Sure,Will do that.
One week later ...
LM : Sir , please tell me the idea. I am very curious.
EM : Sure, young man , But first , tell me how was your week ?
LM : As usual , It was routine. Checking emails , attending meetings , some family time , Nothing changed.
EM : Oh okay. Do you want to know how was my week ?
LM: Well , i guess so. But am more interested in the idea.
EM : Have patience , young fella. I will tell you what i did last week.
On Monday , I went to visit my grand children. We had a lovely time playing and chatting.
On Tuesday , I went to see a river flowing. I thought - So gently the river flows. Where to ? Whats it purpose ? Is it going to meet its mother ?
On Wednesday , I had to visit someone at a hospital. He had met with an accident and I spent few hours with him.
On Thursday , I spent some time in a temple which i go every thursday. I know some people there only by face. No body talks with me , but i just smile back at them and thats how i know them.
On Friday , I saw the sun rising. I spent 15 minutes thinking : Isnt the Sun lonely ? Who can give company to Him ?Anyone who comes near will surely be burned. But, does the Sun fail to rise each day ?
On Saturuday, ie yesterday, I made some sweets. While cooking, I thought of you. I have some of that stuff with me. Will you take some of it ?
LM : Wow , thanks a lot. It surely looks yummy.Will take it.
But please tell me about your idea,
EM : For that my dear friend ,you have to wait for another week.
One more week later ....
EM : Good morning , young man , how are you doing ?
LM : Good, that sweet you shared was very good.Also i have been thinking about what all you told me. How was your week ?
EM : Let me ask that question to you first. How was your week ?
LM : Same as usual. But i have been thinking more about your activities and what you told. You seemed to enjoy your days. Tell me , dont you feel lonely.
EM : Well , Yes, I do
LM : Then you also have the same problem as me
EM : No, I dont have any problem. I feel lonely , true , but thats not a problem
LM : Am confused. Please explain.
EM : Look ,I am lonely. I dont have any of my family members living with me. I have to cook myself and my neighbours these days dont even care if I am alive or not. But thats not a problem.
LM : How do you say that ?
EM : Because Life is to be Lived By You and For You.
LM: Well , is that the idea ?
EM : Thats just one of the ideas. But good to start with.
LM : Hmm .. guess i will give it a try. What should i do ?
EM : Observe Life. Dont just see it. Really observe Life.
LM : Really . is that so simple ?
EM: Yes , it is. See you next week.
LM : Yes , Will meet you next week.Thanks sir.
To be continued ( next week ) ....
PART II
PART III
LM : Good morning sir. Its really good to meet you.
EM: You look quite pleased with yourself.
LM : Yes, sir , I had a very eventful week.
EM : Really ? Thats good, Tell me about it.
LM: Last week , you told me "Just as you cannot control others life , do not also be controlled by other people. "
EM : Yes, did that help ?
LM : Absolutely. The more i think about it , the more i felt that my problem was not being Lonely. I think that was not my problem at all. That feeling of loneliness was in fact a by-product of another issue underneath. I realized that i was trying to control others and in return they were controlling me. Last week , I let it go. I told myself "So , what is it you are trying to control. Let it go. What is going to happen , let it happen" Within few hours , I felt at peace.
EM: Hmm. Good introspection. I think you really have pondered over what we discussed.
LM : Yes, and also i spent some time with myself. I mean actually with myself. In silence. Thinking more. Observing life around me. Contemplating what you had told me over the last month. All this made me realize that I did have the company of so many people and i was not lonely from a physical perspective atleast. Then a bit further , i delved and found that it actually did not matter if other people accompanied me or not. It was not what made me lonely. I then felt that it is nothing but the way i have been thinking. I crossed the physical aspect and looked into more subtler aspects.
As i went about my usual activities last week , i also noticed a sort of lightness. Like, i went to the usual weekly meeting and there were so many issues to be resolved. But i observed each of them . i found a solution to them. Some of these solutions were so obvious and i wondered why I was bogged down by them earlier.
EM : Thats good progress.
LM : Yeah , Then I began to note down my thoughts. Writing them down , made me focus more on them. The thoughts began to flow. I didn’t stop writing. It was as if someone dictated to me from within. I wrote and wrote. Many aspects of my life became much clear. I made a plan to follow up on many issues which were long due.
EM : So, You have Observed Life and really observed yourself. Looks like it helped.
LM : Yes , it surely did. Once i started writing, I realized that I can no longer be lonely. I have a book , a pen and my thoughts always with me. That’s why i said that loneliness was not my problem. But thanks to you , I have realized it.
EM : Good going , young man. Now , I want to ask you a favour. Share with others what you have realized. The more you share your happiness , the more happier you become. Thats all I ask of you.
LM ( A changed man ) : Yes. I will. Thank you.
Elderly Man (EM) : Do you need any help ?
Lonely Man (LM) : Yes, can you help me ?
EM: Yes, tell me what is your problem
LM : I am lonely. Thats my problem.
EM : Dont you have a family ?
LM : Yes, I do . But still am lonely. Do you really beleive that family will relive you of your loneliness ?
EM : Yes, you can spend time with them.
LM : I have been doing that. I spend time with all my family.But i cannot overcome this problem.
EM : Are you not getting invovled in any hobby or any activitivity ?
LM : Am working 5 days in a week. I get two days off which i spend with family. My hobbies is travelling. But due to family pressures , am not able to travel.
EM : What about any other hobbies which you can develop to overcome your loneliness ?
LM : Yes, i registered to Facebook , but i feel all my friends comments as boring and it cannot replace the companionship of a physical friend.
EM : Yes, thats correct. So , tell me where are your friends ?
LM : All of them are abroad, thanks to the oppurtunities in the Information Technology. They all are doing well.
EM : I have one idea. Do you want to know it ?
LM : Yes, please do tell me.
EM : Not today. Meet me next week at this same place and I will tell you.
LM : Sure,Will do that.
One week later ...
LM : Sir , please tell me the idea. I am very curious.
EM : Sure, young man , But first , tell me how was your week ?
LM : As usual , It was routine. Checking emails , attending meetings , some family time , Nothing changed.
EM : Oh okay. Do you want to know how was my week ?
LM: Well , i guess so. But am more interested in the idea.
EM : Have patience , young fella. I will tell you what i did last week.
On Monday , I went to visit my grand children. We had a lovely time playing and chatting.
On Tuesday , I went to see a river flowing. I thought - So gently the river flows. Where to ? Whats it purpose ? Is it going to meet its mother ?
On Wednesday , I had to visit someone at a hospital. He had met with an accident and I spent few hours with him.
On Thursday , I spent some time in a temple which i go every thursday. I know some people there only by face. No body talks with me , but i just smile back at them and thats how i know them.
On Friday , I saw the sun rising. I spent 15 minutes thinking : Isnt the Sun lonely ? Who can give company to Him ?Anyone who comes near will surely be burned. But, does the Sun fail to rise each day ?
On Saturuday, ie yesterday, I made some sweets. While cooking, I thought of you. I have some of that stuff with me. Will you take some of it ?
LM : Wow , thanks a lot. It surely looks yummy.Will take it.
But please tell me about your idea,
EM : For that my dear friend ,you have to wait for another week.
One more week later ....
EM : Good morning , young man , how are you doing ?
LM : Good, that sweet you shared was very good.Also i have been thinking about what all you told me. How was your week ?
EM : Let me ask that question to you first. How was your week ?
LM : Same as usual. But i have been thinking more about your activities and what you told. You seemed to enjoy your days. Tell me , dont you feel lonely.
EM : Well , Yes, I do
LM : Then you also have the same problem as me
EM : No, I dont have any problem. I feel lonely , true , but thats not a problem
LM : Am confused. Please explain.
EM : Look ,I am lonely. I dont have any of my family members living with me. I have to cook myself and my neighbours these days dont even care if I am alive or not. But thats not a problem.
LM : How do you say that ?
EM : Because Life is to be Lived By You and For You.
LM: Well , is that the idea ?
EM : Thats just one of the ideas. But good to start with.
LM : Hmm .. guess i will give it a try. What should i do ?
EM : Observe Life. Dont just see it. Really observe Life.
LM : Really . is that so simple ?
EM: Yes , it is. See you next week.
LM : Yes , Will meet you next week.Thanks sir.
To be continued ( next week ) ....
PART II
Well , time flew and another week was due. So, the Lonely Man (LM) and Elderly Man (EM) meet again in the same park. Here goes their discussion :
LM: Good morning sir, I was looking forward to meeting you.
EM : Good morning. So tell me , how was your last week ?
LM: Good morning sir, I was looking forward to meeting you.
EM : Good morning. So tell me , how was your last week ?
LM : In our last meeting , you left me with these two lessons "Life is to be Lived By You and For You." and "Observe Life. Dont just see it. Really observe Life."
EM : Yes, yes, I remember. Did these help you ?
LM: I am not sure. Look , I am living the life by myself and for myself. I am in control of my life and who else can be ?
EM : Are you sure about that ? Think some more. You think that you are living your life because you think you have control over it. But is that true ?
LM : Can you explain what do you mean ?
EM : Yeah , surely. Most of us think that we are leading our life and we control all that happens in that. Some people also think they control other people's lives. Then , they fall into either depression or some other problem because they cannot accept their closed ones not listening to their words or obeying orders. You need to start accepting that you don't control anything.
LM : Eh ? Am more confused sir. Kindly explain.
EM : It is simple. You expect others to react and respond to you in the way You want them to. For example , you may want your children to always obey you , or you may want your spouse to always agree to what you say , or you may want your friends to be always like you and be with you.. In effect , you want to control them.
LM : That is correct. But don't we loose them if we don't control ?
EM : Its infact the other way round. The more your control , the more the chances that you may loose them. Come to think of it , You are actually NOT able to control your life , how can you control others ?
LM: Well , I think I can control my life. Why do say that ?
EM : Okay , Tell me : Do you have control over your heart rate ? Do you have control over your thoughts ? Do you have control on your digestive system or respiratory systems ? Do you say to your brain - Look , you should obey me all times and get a first rank in all exams ? You can influence some of these by taking care of your health , diet and exercises. But what happens internally, is not under your control. What happens in sleep ? There are lots of research on that topic.
LM : Hmm..in that case , what is the meaning of "Life is to be lived by you and for you" ?
EM : It means just that. You live the life given to you. Accept that you are just another living organism who is lucky to get a human life. It was a life given for you. Just as you cannot control others life , do not also be controlled by other people.
LM : Good thought sir. I think its very positive. What should be my next step ?
EM : Ponder over these thoughts and practice by implementing what you have learnt. Take little steps , Start experimenting within yourself. You will surely have many questions. That is okay. You may feel out of control many times. That too is okay. You may feel that by saying NO to others , you are hurting their feelings. That too is okay , if you learn the art of refusing politely.
LM : Will do sir. What about the next lesson ?
EM : Next lesson , next week :-)
LM: I am not sure. Look , I am living the life by myself and for myself. I am in control of my life and who else can be ?
EM : Are you sure about that ? Think some more. You think that you are living your life because you think you have control over it. But is that true ?
LM : Can you explain what do you mean ?
EM : Yeah , surely. Most of us think that we are leading our life and we control all that happens in that. Some people also think they control other people's lives. Then , they fall into either depression or some other problem because they cannot accept their closed ones not listening to their words or obeying orders. You need to start accepting that you don't control anything.
LM : Eh ? Am more confused sir. Kindly explain.
EM : It is simple. You expect others to react and respond to you in the way You want them to. For example , you may want your children to always obey you , or you may want your spouse to always agree to what you say , or you may want your friends to be always like you and be with you.. In effect , you want to control them.
LM : That is correct. But don't we loose them if we don't control ?
EM : Its infact the other way round. The more your control , the more the chances that you may loose them. Come to think of it , You are actually NOT able to control your life , how can you control others ?
LM: Well , I think I can control my life. Why do say that ?
EM : Okay , Tell me : Do you have control over your heart rate ? Do you have control over your thoughts ? Do you have control on your digestive system or respiratory systems ? Do you say to your brain - Look , you should obey me all times and get a first rank in all exams ? You can influence some of these by taking care of your health , diet and exercises. But what happens internally, is not under your control. What happens in sleep ? There are lots of research on that topic.
LM : Hmm..in that case , what is the meaning of "Life is to be lived by you and for you" ?
EM : It means just that. You live the life given to you. Accept that you are just another living organism who is lucky to get a human life. It was a life given for you. Just as you cannot control others life , do not also be controlled by other people.
LM : Good thought sir. I think its very positive. What should be my next step ?
EM : Ponder over these thoughts and practice by implementing what you have learnt. Take little steps , Start experimenting within yourself. You will surely have many questions. That is okay. You may feel out of control many times. That too is okay. You may feel that by saying NO to others , you are hurting their feelings. That too is okay , if you learn the art of refusing politely.
LM : Will do sir. What about the next lesson ?
EM : Next lesson , next week :-)
To be continued ...
PART III
Time flew and another week was due. So, the Lonely Man (LM) and Elderly Man (EM) meet again in the same park. Here goes their discussion:
EM: Hey there , Good to see you again.LM : Good morning sir. Its really good to meet you.
EM: You look quite pleased with yourself.
LM : Yes, sir , I had a very eventful week.
EM : Really ? Thats good, Tell me about it.
LM: Last week , you told me "Just as you cannot control others life , do not also be controlled by other people. "
EM : Yes, did that help ?
LM : Absolutely. The more i think about it , the more i felt that my problem was not being Lonely. I think that was not my problem at all. That feeling of loneliness was in fact a by-product of another issue underneath. I realized that i was trying to control others and in return they were controlling me. Last week , I let it go. I told myself "So , what is it you are trying to control. Let it go. What is going to happen , let it happen" Within few hours , I felt at peace.
EM: Hmm. Good introspection. I think you really have pondered over what we discussed.
LM : Yes, and also i spent some time with myself. I mean actually with myself. In silence. Thinking more. Observing life around me. Contemplating what you had told me over the last month. All this made me realize that I did have the company of so many people and i was not lonely from a physical perspective atleast. Then a bit further , i delved and found that it actually did not matter if other people accompanied me or not. It was not what made me lonely. I then felt that it is nothing but the way i have been thinking. I crossed the physical aspect and looked into more subtler aspects.
As i went about my usual activities last week , i also noticed a sort of lightness. Like, i went to the usual weekly meeting and there were so many issues to be resolved. But i observed each of them . i found a solution to them. Some of these solutions were so obvious and i wondered why I was bogged down by them earlier.
EM : Thats good progress.
LM : Yeah , Then I began to note down my thoughts. Writing them down , made me focus more on them. The thoughts began to flow. I didn’t stop writing. It was as if someone dictated to me from within. I wrote and wrote. Many aspects of my life became much clear. I made a plan to follow up on many issues which were long due.
EM : So, You have Observed Life and really observed yourself. Looks like it helped.
LM : Yes , it surely did. Once i started writing, I realized that I can no longer be lonely. I have a book , a pen and my thoughts always with me. That’s why i said that loneliness was not my problem. But thanks to you , I have realized it.
EM : Good going , young man. Now , I want to ask you a favour. Share with others what you have realized. The more you share your happiness , the more happier you become. Thats all I ask of you.
LM ( A changed man ) : Yes. I will. Thank you.
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